Friends

Well, I am just a simple lad. I got Small dreams, small life and a wonderful bunch of friends. Everyone call me Fluke. I call myself Farhaan. My friends find it difficult to associate me things I do. Rather they remember me with the laughs every time they think about me. They recognize me with my size which is little more than 0 actually, a big 0 around my waist is how they recognize me. I always felt good when my friends teased me. No one took me seriously and I loved it that way. In short a happy buddy of my friends. Well, that was about Farhaan. Meet my friend Daisy. She is sensible, lovable, sweet and above all a great company. She always had a beautiful smile on her face. But the strange fact is she is strong; fight for right, kinda girl and me a “stupid innocent baby” as she calls me. Sometimes I feel, I got a bodyguard around. She fights for me and I get scared when she does so.

She was from my induction batch. The first time I met her, I was so scared to even talk to her. I could hardly introduce myself to her, and now she introduces me to everyone else around us. I don’t know how time would have been, if she wasn’t there to company me. Had she not been there, I would have always been Farhaan. Breakfast to lunch and then dinner, we had it together in office. Sometimes, I feel how we have so much to talk to. Every time we meet, we have some or the other gossip to tell each other and I simply loved the time I spent with her.  Giggles, laughs, secrets we shared and above all a unknown bond of love and friendship, it was simply the best time.

And then suddenly she comes and tells me she likes someone and she never spoke to him.  Initially I was surprised and then a little jealous when she was talking high of him. She told she never spoke to him and will meet him today. I was just blank, smiled at her and wished her best of luck. She comes to me in the evening and tells me that the guy is really nice. I just smiled. As the days passed by, we spoke little less. Little less secrets and giggles shared. She was more spotted with him than me. But, she always gave me some little time of her day. And I was happy. She managed all her relations so well. I felt I could never do it. One day she took me to the guy and made me speak to him. A tall handsome guy, amazing to speak to and a wonderful voice is how you describe him. Peter was all daisy needed. I was really happy for her. Next few days we always went together for Breakfast, lunch, movies. We became close buddies.

Few months passed by, and I slowly started realizing Peter was not quite happy with me around. I and Daisy shared a good chemistry, and I felt that he sometimes felt left out. I and daisy had so much to share with each other that we always used to forget he was there around. With passing days, He spoke less to me and started avoiding daisy when I was around. One day, when we three were walking down the stairs, daisy slipped and fell down. Immediately, I hold her and saw that she was unconscious. I immediately took her on my shoulder got her to the reception. I Got some water for her. Fortunately she was not hurt a lot. She felt ok and had a glass of water. I never realized where Peter went. Next couple of days Daisy did not talk to me much. I thought she must have fought with Peter over something and must be tensed. I wanted to talk to her and discuss but she always said she was fine and will talk later. When I pressed upon the matter, she lost control and asked me to mind my own business. Though, little hurt, I thought she will always come back and talk to me. Nothing happened for a very long time. I thought of going to her and ask about the mater. After my work was over, I went to her place to talk. She was with peter in a corner talking over something. When I went there, I could hear a lot of things I never wish to hear. Peter did not like me. He asked Daisy to choose between him and me. I was shocked. Daisy was crying. She did not know what to do. She kept saying what the problem is. But peter kept on insisting the same thing. I could not see the scene. I broke into the conversation. I came in and faced them. All of us were silent. Daisy was silently crying looking at my face. Peter was angry and surprised and I could not see my friend like this.

Somehow I just said a few words to peter, “You are an amazing guy and I cannot compare myself with you. I am a fatso, easy to go and no match for you. You are right for daisy in all ways. But, what you asked her to choose is not something right. We are friends and nothing else. You are the guy for him and not me. I like her a lot but as a friend. I have no intension to come between you people. I can never see tears in her eyes and never will. You want me to go away I will. But take care of her.”. I went silent. Probably it was too much for me to handle. I would have cried. I could not see tears in her eyes. It felt like she was asking me thousand questions. I looked at her face. I gave a faint smile to her and with a heavy sigh went back to my house.

I never thought such a day could come. I always thought life would be easy but it never was. And thinking about leaving my best friend was out of the question. I just gave a thought of all the moments we spent together, the good, the better and the best. Suddenly, I realized that I should give some space to her in her personal life. I resolved that I will not talk to her now. In the coming days, daisy used to come to me but I ignored intentionally. It did hurt but somehow I felt I was doing the right thing. It was difficult to stay in the same place and see her everyday and not talk to her. I applied to a different company. After a few tries I got through a good place and moved on. I did not tell anyone about my change.

Years passed on. I was now a manager in my company and was doing well. I never gave myself a chance to think about her. Technologies have changed and friends now were just a click away and so I kept myself away from all those social networking tools to use that first click. I always thought to talk to her once but then thinking of what happened that day, I kept myself away. But now, it had been a long time and I thought this would be the right time to talk to her. Finding daisy was not a difficult job. I got to know that she was still hanging to the same place. I was skeptical to go there but then I had to meet her. In the evening, I went to the place where we used to have dinner. I waited the same place where we had such good memories. Suddenly,  I saw her. She was a grown up now. She was even more beautiful with a chubby face. When she saw me, she was surprised and then tears rolled on. I had tears too after a long time. We just jumped and hugged each other forgetting the rest of the world. She asked me where I was all these years. I asked about peter. She told that she left him after I left the company as she would have never lived happily with him. She then said that she waited for all these years hoping I would return one day. I just had few more tears as answers to her question.

I will do anything for you

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Wonder Who I Am

Suddenly I felt things were getting dark. It was already 8 in the evening and I do not find anyone worth waiting for, in the park. I have never been to parks, and then being all alone was a different experience. I was in my dreamland. The place I always wanted to be in, and fantasize, was in front. But I was not quite enjoying it.

When people say parks are for kids, I say, it is for the older kids. These kids have different games to play. I must say, it is little sensual. These are the people who find it difficult to keep their loves to themselves and keep spreading them.  I see only two reasons for such a public display of affection. One may be lack of privacy in their own house and the other being the fascination to show others what they have got. Both of cases, I do not support their cause. The park rather being a place for children to play had become place for love and romance. The parks have become place to repeat what they see in movies and serials these days. At dusk, you find a brim streak of light from the clouds. You have a time where you do not see the shadow of the people any longer. You do not recognize people around you, but see figures moving along. The entire place seems to be so monotone, a color which has filled my heart, a different darkness, which sets the moment for complete darkness.

I knew, I was not in the right place, but felt like I had nowhere else to go. No one understands the pain, I am living for. Friends, parents, her.  No one. The people who knew me, try to advice. Parents; can’t even think about telling them, what is the problem with me. And if the first person in my life which I always felt, understood what was going on with me, I would have been a different person in my life. I just got up from my seat, took a walk in the park. Tired, I went to my bike to go home. As soon as I sat on my bike, felt like, I would not be able to move the bike. I step down, and sat on the footpath. I remove my glasses, look at the passing cars. Why does it so happen that I find myself synonymous to every things around me. The passing cars seems to be talking to me, telling me, it’s okay, you can do it. Move on and you would get your answer.

I got a call from my friend, who was waiting at his place, so that we can have dinner together.  I immediately got over my thoughts and took the way which went to Sanjay place. A totally messed up guy, who does not realize what was he doing. Things did not go well with both of us. He ditched his girlfriend and I carried over. Thought, she was worth a last fight. I reached his place. I asked if he could come in for a tea outside. He agreed, and we went out. He always thought he could show me some other girl and get me out of my thinking. I used to smile when he used to do that. He could not realize a simple thing, I just wanted something in my life, I could be happy for. Every dinner with him used to be a battle ground for me. I used to talk about being with her and he used to talk about forgetting her, concentrating on studies and do something better. It used to be a difficult conversation. I always used to tell myself, life is fair and good. I never realized that, I am already trapped into something which would engulf my entire life. I went home and slept.

The fantasy of having Sandya by my side always took the first priority. Each day found me coming early to office to see her on a table alone, talk to her, company her to her place, and listening to her. She always tried avoiding my company, a thing she was never successful in. We were in the same team and each person around us knew, what was going on. But I made sure no one asks her. I knew she would not enjoy the question which involved us. Making her open up to me, was another wonderful experience for me, listening to all sort of good words. I must say she had an amazing language; otherwise the words, used to puncture my heart, would have been really different. Lunch, then back home, she always used to find me around her. Just wanted to let her know, I am there for her. I am not sure whether the decision was right, coz I felt she never realized the value. I just wanted to hold on to her.

Late night calls made me feel her heart was like polo, a heart with a hole. My calls used to be often missed calls on her phone. The number of missed calls used to range from 15 to 60. I felt I knew everything about her, but she never tried understanding how much I love her.  Finally, when she picks up the phone, I realize my ears have the pleasure to listen to the world’s best voice. The conversation, sometimes funny, often used to start with “why you didn’t pick up my call”. She used to start her egoistic replies and I used to answer, unbothered, determined to fight back and get back the lost battles of speeches, just to find that I have to do what she asks me to do. 

I heard somewhere that the path to love is never easy. It has got lot of pain and suffering; but finally when you win, you realize the scars are worth in life. Every set back made me smile and unleashed new strength in me.

I had lot of work on a day and could not pay much attention to her. She left early which I found out later in the evening when she was not around. On my way back home I found a missed call from her. I was actually surprised. This is a rare moment and I wanted to celebrate. If I had the privilege to drink, a bottle of champagne would have been emptied in no time. But, rather I had milk to compensate and enjoy. I had my dinner and called her back. She picked up immediately and kept mum. I am a lot surprised. The usual hard toned word, ‘BOLO KYA KAAM HAI’, was replaced by a deep silence. It was something which I never expected in a call with her. I was silent too.

A minutes of silence between people just reveals how tightly you are knitted together, even nothing communicates everything. Finally, I broke the silence and said ‘Hey what happened’. She was sobbing. Something wrong has happened and I need to pay urgent attention to. Repeated pondering on her sobbing got the answer from her.

Her manager called her up and she was screwed. Her performance had been really bad in the last six months and she would be given a pink slip, if this continued over the next quarter. She was terrified, scared and did not know what to do. I kept telling her that things would be fine, but she would not understand and kept mum. I told her that I am coming to meet her. She kept saying no, but I disconnected the phone. In no time, I reached her place. Called her to come out and she was there in a minute.

As soon as I saw her dull face, I could not resist. She was in scared and I cannot do anything. I just got hold of her and hugged her. She did not resist either. Guess she found something which would let her away from all the pain she was in. It was not a well lighted place and we did not realize the people around us. After sometime, we let off each other and went to a CCD. We had long chat there and she thanked me for all what I have done today. I just had a brief smile on my face. I dropped her back to her place. As I was about to leave, I just turned back to see her. She was smiling and waving to me. I moved on with a light heart, a sweet memory and a strong feeling, ‘She would love me some day’.